Words play a key role in almost every conflict. When used properly, words promote understanding and encourage agreement. When misused, they usually aggravate offenses and drive people farther apart. With God’s help, we can improve our ability to communicate the truth, yet in a spirit of love. Ephesians 4:15 - But [a]speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

In this message, we will look at what the Bible says about three basic communication skills and then explore practical ways to use them, especially in the midst of conflict.

Speak only to build up others.
Ephesians 4:29 - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good [a]to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

This clearly forbids us from using our tongues in a corrupt way, but rather our words should always serve to edify (build up) others.

Avoid corrupt types of communication (slander, gossip, falsehood) it's very destructive to others.

  • Proverbs 10:19 - Those who talk a lot are likely to sin.​ But those who control their tongues are wise.

  • Proverbs 11:9-12 - With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors, but through knowledge the righteous escape. 10 When the righteous prosper, the city rejoices; when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy. 11 Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed. 12 Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue.

Avoid worthless talk; make the habit of talking to people with whom you are having a problem with rather than about them.

Check yourself when the tone of conversation about a third party has become negative or critical.

Say good things about others and pray good things happen to them, even if they are opposing or mistreating you.

Luke 6:27-28,
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Luke 23:34
34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”[a] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

5. None of these principles forbid confrontation, but they do require that confrontation be constructive rather than hurtful.

6. When we confront others, we demonstrate love and humility by speaking with patience and gentleness. Galatians 6:1

Doing Good to All
1 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

• Most often, others will treat you as you treat them.

If you are aggressive and overbearing, don’t be surprised if an argument develops.

If you are patient and gentle, they will probably respond in a similar manner.